Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls by Mary Pipher. New York: Ballantine Books, 1994. 304 pages. $12.50.
You might be wondering what relevance a book about adolescent girls has for you, the parent of young children. Mary Pipher, the author, would say that the ideal moment to read this eye-opening account is “as soon as possible.” Reviving Ophelia is a devastating portrait of the schizophrenic existence our society induces in adolescent girls. Arming yourself with ammunition now when your girls are young is critical to diminishing the insidious erosion of their self-esteem during their adolescent years.
What happens to the vibrancy and confidence of pre-adolescent girls? Their hormones kick in and the opposite sex becomes important. Their lives become saturated with messages from the media about how they should look and act if acceptance is their goal. This constant bombardment combines with the higher incidences of rape and sexual harassment, the greater likelihood of contracting a venereal disease, and the new dangers of AIDS. It is a deadly mix. It is little wonder that research shows that IQ’s drop and scores in math and science plummet. Many girls become shadows of their former selves.
Mary Pipher is a clinical psychologist who specializes in working with adolescent girls. As the mother of an adolescent girl she has a vested interest in finding solutions to the potentially crippling problems of this era in their lives. But Pipher doesn’t lay out easy solutions in this book. Rather, her poignant stories and searing insights into our culture stir us into action on behalf of our daughters. Pipher wants us to understand that the forces she analyzes are much more corrosive and dangerous now than they were when today’s parents were adolescents. Preparation is therefore more important than parents might expect. Keeping the traumas of adolescence in our parental imagination will help us to shore up self-esteem now and to instill values patiently over the long haul. That’s probably the best protection for our girls.
Any woman who has survived that turbulent period of identity formation, with its roller-coaster emotions and search for acceptance, will find their experience reflected in this book. There are no surprises on that score. What is shocking about the conflicted, heart-rending stories of Pipher’s adolescent clients is the heightened ferocity of the attack in the 1990’s, which forces girls to deal with sexism at younger and younger ages.
Reviving Ophelia may also prompt women to reminisce about their own struggles to form their sense of self. What better first step to helping girls than by paving the way in our own lives?