Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide For Parents Whose Child is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent and Energetic, by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. New York: HarperCollins Publishers, Inc., 1991. 302 pages. $11.
Are you frustrated, embarrassed, ill at ease, or at wits’ end with your child who has been challenging from the moment they were born? Are you tired of advice that doesn’t work with your child? Are you feeling overwhelmed and alone when it comes to managing his or her behavior? If any of this feels familiar, read on.
Raising your Spirited Child is grounded in thirty years of temperament research by Drs. Chess and Thomas. Kurcinka explores nine temperament traits, some of which are mentioned in the title. Her temperament inventory enables parents to assess the unique blend of temperaments in their families and to see how matches and mismatches occur. The author compellingly advocates positive labels and suggests many practical strategies for improving relationships with the “spirited child.”
Mary Sheedy Kurcinka’s intense interest in temperament arose out of her own need to manage her own “spirited child.” A licensed teacher and parent educator, Kurcinka has spent fifteen years as a director of Minnesota’s Early Childhood Family Education programs. This book, filled with lively anecdotes that can make you laugh and cry simultaneously, is written with understanding and sensitivity to the roller coaster ride of living with challenging children.
As the parent of a “spirited child,” this book revolutionized the way I thought about my own situation. I discovered that I was not alone in my struggles. I learned that inborn temperament significantly influences my child’s unique way of living in the world. Some of my guilt and anxiety disappeared. I was able to see my child through new eyes, visualizing how his traits could serve him well in the future. I am now better able to celebrate his strengths, appreciate his tender heart, and revel in his creativity and imagination. Parents who are hungry for new insights into their child’s challenging behavior will, like me, find this book difficult to put down.